Hope
by limpet666
Summary: Hope can never penetrate a prison of white walls. AU. YAOI. ANGST. Shadi x Seto.


"Alright, hun, just go right in." The blonde nurse pushed him into the room gently but firmly, and he heard the sharp clang as the metal gate was shut and locked behind him. Almost every pair of eyes turned to look at him, staring, as he remained motionless, glaring around at all of them.

Why was he here? He wasn't crazy. He'd just made a mistake. Besides…he didn't know those men had been screaming…he thought they were laughing. After all, they had been playing the best game in the world, right? Nothing could beat Virtual Reality, how did he know the suits would become red hot due to the amount of electricity running though the tiny wires? It wasn't his fault. People didn't have to keep coming back for more…

Blue eyes looked around at the people with contempt. They were all dressed in white gowns, exactly like his own, and as he watched they slowly went back to their own doings after he lost his interest.

Then a man started forwards towards him, grinning manically. He had silvery-lilac hair that hid the left side of his face, and he seemed to radiate energy. "Hi!" He grabbed the newcomer's hand before he had a chance to pull a way, shaking it enthusiastically. "Hi!" he repeated "I'm Pegasus! And you're new! Wanna be friends! What are you in here for? Are you sane? What's your name?" He had a distinct American accent and seemed to be trying to say 101 things at once.

After extracting his hand from the almost painful grip a soft but endearing voice said, "My name's Seto Kaiba."

"Seto, pretty name…I like it." Pegasus grinned and bounced "Are we friends now!"

"No." Seto said sharply, dark brows drawing together. The American's smile faded slightly but it was quickly plastered on again.

"Alright! That's okay, I don't mind. Why are you in here?"

"It's none of your business." A slender hand went through chocolate coloured locks with agitation and Pegasus' visible eye went wide.

"Oh…oh…did you kill someone? Did you? Are you a mur-der-er?" His white teeth gleamed in an insane grin. "What was it like? Was it bloody? Did they scream? Did they"

"Shut up!" Seto snapped, the American gaining an innocent look for a few moments before he turned and pointed across to the room.

"See him? Do you? Him by the window? Long black hair? I like his hair. Y'know I was thinking of"

"What about him?" Blue eyes narrowed at the person. The man's skin was tanned and amber eyes stared blankly out of the glass.

"He's killed people." Pegasus said in a stage whisper "Lots of people. Bad people so the nurses say. But he never says anything." The American shook his head like a child "Never. Never speaks. Never. I bet he has a nice voice, though, he looks like he would."

The brunet scanned the rest of the people and then looked at Pegasus, who grinned back, apparently pleased he was being stared at, even if the expression was somewhat distasteful. "You know every one here?" He asked.

"Yup!" The silvernette seemed pleased with himself "I know everyone, yes yes, yes-sir-ee indeed. Why?"

"Tell me who all these people are, then." The Kaiba said sharply. He loathed having to stay in the company of the American, but it would be useful to know these people without having to talk to all of them.

"Really! Alright then! Does this mean we're friends?" Pegasus seemed eager, grabbing for Seto's hand again but it was quickly snatched away.

"No. Just show me around." These games were becoming tiresome and he was getting a headache.

"Okay then, come on, come on come on come on." Pegasus bounced away, stopping in front of a blond young man who was curled up on the floor, apparently asleep. "That's Jonouchi. He's my friend." The American crouched down and scratched behind the man's ear, causing a soft keening noise to which the silvernette snickered. "I like him, he's cute. Cute puppy. I like puppies. Do you like puppies Seto?" His question however was ignored and after a moment of eager silence Pegasus moved on.

"This is Ryou." Pegasus plopped down beside a white haired youth, throwing his arms around him and hugging him "He's my friend as well, but he has schizo-watzit and I'm not allowed to go near him when he goes yami because he hurts me." He stayed annoyingly cheerful and didn't seem to notice Ryou's cringing or the way his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "Ryou this is Seto, he's new." The whitenette murmured a meek 'hello' and the brunet could hear the English accent strongly.

Next, as Pegasus stood up he was suddenly latched on to and let out a girlish shriek, arms held up and eye wide as his breath quickened in fear. The brunet's eyebrows quirked at the behaviour as the American started laughing insanely and pulled off the thing that was attached around his waist. It was another person "Yugi-boy!" Pegasus lifted the youth up and then hugged him tight, causing high-pitched, inane giggles to erupt from the small figure. Wild, starfish like hair gave the youth a startled or shocked appearance; the purple colorations with yellow bangs looking extremely peculiar.

Setting him down, Pegasus pointed to the Kaiba "This is Seto! He's new!" Violet eyes blinked slowly and distrustfully at the brunet before he launched himself, Seto barely having time to smack him away with a startled look. Yugi hit the floor with a 'fwumph' and let out a pained cry before getting up and glaring, stalking off but apparently no worse for wear.

"Oh dear…" the silvernette seemed slightly distressed "I don't think you made a good impression on Yugi-boy, not at all…nope…" He stayed sad for a moment before grinning and going off to show Seto around again.

After meeting various other inmates, one being a thoroughly depressing man called Keith who just stared morosely at everything and everyone, bearing criss-crossing scars across his wrists and arms, and another being blonde Egyptian called Malik who was sat happily in the corner talking to an imaginary friend he called Marik, Pegasus and Seto were over beside the silent man by the window.

"Apparently he's called Shadi." Pegasus told him, voice soft and awing "Creepy name, people don't like him, they say he's weird, they say he's…he's…" He leant in close to the Kaiba's ear, looking around nervously "_he's crazy!_" He covered his mouth suddenly, shaking his head violently. "I-I shouldn't have said that…oh no…no that was wrong…not crazy, we're not allowed to say that," He seemed to be getting frantic "…not crazy… I-I…no… I'm not! I'm not crazy!" The brunet took a step back away from the scene that was ensuing. Pegasus was gripping handfuls of hair and tugging, muttering to himself as he crouched, curling in on himself. The rest of the inmates were beginning to rise as well; Malik had started gibbering in Egyptian, obviously excited, whilst Keith was droning on about how the 'idiotic American should end it all'.

The room quickly rose to a panic; everyone beginning to go into frenzy and suddenly it all went silent save for Pegasus' frantic muttering and whimpers as he yanked on his hair. All eyes were focused towards Shadi who had stood up from his chair, face expressionless. Silently he went across to Pegasus, crouching down beside the American. His amber eyes were focussed intently on the silvernette, his arms sliding around the shaking form after a moment. Within seconds Pegasus had fallen quiet and the Egyptian got back up, black hair swaying and reaching past the small of his back, before he retook his seat by the window.

Seto blinked. What the hell had just happened, and what had that Egyptian done? Pegasus was still crouched but was silent, not responding as the metal gate screeched open and two white clad guards came in, seizing the American by the arms and marching his unresponsive form from the room.

The nights were silent. Seto didn't know what he had expected, screaming maybe, or the constant sound of a guard's footfalls perhaps, but no, there was nothing. Mutely he lay on the white bed; staring up at the grey ceiling, blue eyes unseeing. He had been given his medication, the pills would kick in soon, he knew. The insomnia tablets were nothing new, he'd had to have them even before he came here, but they still left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He hated it there, he hadn't even been there one day but already it was hell. He missed Mokuba and he wondered if his brother was missing him. Probably not, he probably thought he was a murderer just like everyone else, a danger to society…

But as much as he hated it, hated the asylum, for that's what it was, his thoughts kept drifting back to the black haired Egyptian. He had that serene aura around him, like everything was all right. It was probably just the silence; nobody seemed to go near Shadi, like he was infectious, like he really was _crazy._

But he had calmed Pegasus so effortlessly, he didn't even speak, and when he stood, the room went silent, like an unspoken respect for the Egyptian.

Seto could feel the pills kicking in and he slowly drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

A shrill bell rudely awoke every inmate at 8am each morning. Of course, their cells were still locked for five minutes until everyone was up and then they were allowed out.

"Come on! Shower's first!" A male nurse was ushering them towards a door at the end.

The Kaiba was displeased to see the showers were communal, the shower heads set high up all the way around the walls. Most of the inmates were already stood under the streams, gowns hung on blunt hooks near the door to stay dry.

With a distasteful expression, Seto abandoned his own gown, stepping into the showers, finding one away from everyone else. He kept his eyes carefully averted down until he reached the far wall. He relaxed somewhat under the warm spray, face turning up to the water. He didn't even register was someone stepped under the shower a few places down.

Pegasus' voice, happy as ever, was crying out above everyone's, laughing insanely, telling Yugi to stop hugging him, that people would get the 'wrong idea' to which the smaller male was asking incessant questions.

Seto turned his head slightly to look at the American who seemed to have sunk to the floor in uncontrollable laughter when his eyes spotted the person that had appeared almost next to him.

It was Shadi. His face was turned up to the water, amber eyes veiled behind his eyelids. His hands were on his shoulder, having just run through his hair, the black strands still clinging to his wrists whilst most trailed down his back, wetted to the tanned skin. The Egyptian's body was lithe but lightly tone, the muscles on his stomach faintly defined.

The Kaiba realised he was staring too late, the Egyptian eyes slowly opening, drops of water dripping from his lashes, amber eyes focused on the brunet, expression unreadable.

Seto quickly darted his eyes away, a faint flush appearing on his cheeks, much to his annoyance, but when he looked back to say something the Egyptian was already gone.

Breakfast followed, and breakfast meant medication. Some were already there, sitting at the table, eating, or attempting to eat, their breakfasts. A dopey looking Pegasus was giggling inanely, missing his cereal again and again with his spoon, obviously unable to focus.

Silently the Kaiba queued for his medication. He looked down at the small pot. A blue pill and three white ones. Quickly he dry swallowed them and, after the nurses were sure he'd consumed them, was allowed to go eat.

Looking around he noticed with a frown that Shadi wasn't there and he didn't appear until nearly 30minutes later when most people had finished their food. A nurse was supporting him and a curtain of black hair hid his face. The Egyptian stumbled and the man helping him had a hard time getting him to a chair and sitting the blacknette down. Crouching down in front of him, the nurse moved Shadi's hair aside and Seto could see the way his eyes flickered and fazed in and out of focus, disorientated.

He stopped after a while, and the nurse got up and left. Shadi stared ahead and down, face expressionless but every now and then his body would shake for a few moments with a suppressed emotion.

"This happens every week, yep." The brunet jumped and almost spilt his juice. He hadn't heard the American sit down beside him. One cinnamon eye was focused on the Egyptian "Every week. He doesn't take pills like us, nope, just every week, Mondays, I think; they take him after the shower. I don't know what they do to him…bet it's painful…" Pegasus' voice held little compassion, more just idle curiosity.

Seto stayed silent for a moment, not bothering to point out that today was Thursday, not Monday, and then looked to the silvernette "Why are you here?"

Pegasus blinked and then smiled, "Because I'm safe here. They can't get me here, they can't get me like they got her."

"Who?" The Kaiba was confused.

"The shadows…they got my Cecelia…made her ill…ill…sick sick sick…" He shook his head "She died, yep…dead…dead dead…so cold… I didn't want to see it anymore…her face…" His voice had a childish quality. Slowly his fingers slid to push the silver hair away from the left side of his face and blue eyes narrowed in a cringe. Where there should have been an eye there was just nothing, and empty socket, gruesome and disturbing. Pegasus smiled somewhat sadly "I didn't want to see her anymore."

When breakfast was done and the nurses made sure Shadi had eaten something, they were ushered out again, taken to another room, a 'game room'. It was the same room the Seto had been in yesterday, only this time the large doors set in one wall were open, leading outside into a garden, where the sun was shining beautifully.

However as everyone rushed towards the green grass the brunet lost the will to go outside and instead took a seat at a chessboard. The pieces weren't set so he began arranging them, taking his time, as there would be nothing to do after they were set but to pack them away. He never played against himself, it was too frustrating, he hated losing.

But no sooner were all the pieces set, then the chair on the opposite side of the table was pulled back and a figure seated himself elegantly, immediately making the first move as the brunet had set his own side up with the black pieces.

He blinked numbly for a few moments, not moving, but Shadi waited patiently for Seto's move, which finally came after he shook his head clear from the shock.

As the Egyptian reached across the board to take a knight with his rook, his sleeve slipped up his arm and blue eyes could see the tanned skin was riddled with scars, much like Keith's but there seemed to be more of an order to Shadi's, as though each cut was made purposefully. But aside from that there were also numerous puncture wounds, obviously made by a needle.

The Egyptian looked to the Kaiba's face and followed his gaze. Hurriedly he covered his arm, then hid both of them under the table, amber eyes looking down with a faint pained look that was quickly eradicated. Seto frowned lightly. That was the first emotion he'd seen the Egyptian express and he couldn't help wonder what it was that Shadi didn't want him to see, the scars or the track marks?

The game went on for over an hour, but finally ending with Kaiba checkmating his competition. All of the other inmates were still outside, enjoying the sun, and the brunet had no desire to join them.

The Egyptian got up silently, leaving Seto to tidy up the chess pieces, and went across to the chair he so favoured by the window, looking out blankly.

Whoops and screams erupted from outside, and the Kaiba went to stand in the doorway, watching them blankly. A man named Otogi was making shadow puppets in the sun whilst Keith sat a little way to the back, throwing a stick across the yard, watching Jonouchi chase after it and bring it back like a dog.

Everyone else was sitting on the grass, watching the shadow puppets, talking amongst themselves or suffering from their own problems.

"Ooh! That's an elephant!" Pegasus bounced, pointing at the shadow, then it changed. "Oh what's that? A bird, is it a bird? Is it?"

"No, it's a butterfly." A quiet voice, Ryou, spoke up. Suddenly a scream was let out.

"A BUG! KEEP IT AWAY! NO! NO!" The brunet recognised the voice and green hair of Haga. Pegasus had pointed him out yesterday. Apparently he thought that his whole family had been killed by insects, and as such was petrified of anything to do with bugs, so much as to get violent.

Before things could get bad, however, two nurses rushed in, grabbing the squirming form and carrying him out, obviously having expected something to happen. Seto was somewhat shocked by the behaviour but everyone had already gone back to business, it seemed that when someone had a 'turn' they were generally unimportant.

He was never going to get used to it. And he wasn't sure he wanted to. He didn't want to be like everyone else here. They all seemed beaten, they'd accepted that this was going to be where they spent the rest of their lives, shunned by society, locked away in an asylum to be fed pills every day to keep them docile.

It wasn't right, didn't anyone care about them?

In the afternoon each of them was taken out one by one and assessed. Ryou was first, collected by the female nurse that Kaiba had first met. He returned less than 20 minutes later looking no worse for wear and Pegasus went next.

One by one they went until Seto was finally called up. With a frown he looked up from his game of solitaire but after a few moments he got up and followed.

He was lead down a white corridor and into a room. There were mirrors on the wall, and he knew they were one-way windows, that psychiatrists and doctors were standing on the other side.

"Please sit down Seto, Your doctor will be here momentarily." The blonde nurse pointed to table where two chairs were set either side. There was a tape recorder set into the table top, the buttons flat with the surface.

Silently he took a seat, the metal chair cold through his thin gown.

It was barely a minute later, so he guessed, that the door opened again and a tall woman stepped in, shutting the barrier behind her and locking it. She glanced to her clipboard "Seto Kaiba?" She asked.

"Yes?" Blue eyes narrowed and he could see her glance up before scribbling something on the paper.

She took a seat but remained silently, still scribbling, giving the brunet a time to assess her. She was Egyptian and had black hair that was scraped back tightly into a tail at the back of her head. She had a stern look about her and there was a syringe, probably filled with sedative, poking out of the pocket on her white coat. He had the feeling that he wouldn't be able to push her too far without consequences.

"My name is Dr. Ishtar. You are new here and do not yet know me well, therefore I do not expect you to trust me straight away, so I will not be asking you any personal questions just yet. However as time passes we will get to know each other and I expect you to help me help you." He voice was soft but firm and Seto already didn't like her. She had the 'do as I say not as I do' air about her. "Do you understand?"

"Yes." The brunet said after a moment, voice blank.

"Good. Okay, let's begin, I wont keep you long. What is your name?"

_You're kidding me._

"…You know my name, you said it when you came in." He snapped slightly and watched as a dark brow rose on the woman's face and she scribbled on the paper.

"Answer the question, please."

_Fine. _"Seto Kaiba."

"Good. How old are you, Seto?"

"Twenty."

"Correct."

_ You don't say…_

The doctor looked down at he clipboard "Do you have any family?"

"Yes." He didn't particularly want to go any further.

"Who are they?"

The brunet stayed silent for a long moment.

"Please answer the question, Seto."

"A brother, Mokuba." He said, voice snappy and again the Egyptian doctor wrote something down.

"How old is he?"

"I don't see why you"

"Answer the question, please."

"Fine. He's 16."

Dr. Ishtar nodded and wrote something down before setting her clipboard down on the table, hands crossing over it so Seto couldn't see what she's written. "Now Seto, do you know why you're here?"

"So you can talk to me and see if my medication is working." Yes he knew.

"No, you misunderstand me, Seto. Do you know why you're in this institution?" She said , voice slow as though she were speaking to a child. The Kaiba's blue eyes flickered for a moment before he answered.

"Yes. I know." He said softly.

"And why is that, Seto?" She pushed.

"You know why." He said finitely and stopped talking. She continued to ask him questions, trying to worm an answer out of him but he refused to speak and finally she gave in.

"Okay, you may go now, I will see you in two days." The woman dismissed him. He got up and went towards the door, which opened before he got there. The blonde nurse then escorted him back to the game room and she called Yugi up next.

The rest of the day was uneventful. Haga returned after a while looking skittish but calmed down after a few minutes and returned to the garden where a game of tag seemed to have broken out.

Seto had taken one of the couches near the far wall and was reclined across it, a book in one hand, reading silently. Shadi was still by the window and they were the only two that weren't partaking in the outside activities. Suddenly the screams and whoops grew louder and then the whoops died out altogether, leaving only screams. The Kaiba looked up to see a white haired figure running towards him; Ryou. Only he looked different. In the few short moments he could focus the brunet could see that the Briton's face was twisted in a mask of anger, and his hands were extended like claws, reaching for his neck.

Instantly the Kaiba tried to jerk away, but split seconds before Ryou fingers would have closed around his neck, two tanned hands caught the whitenette's wrists, bare inches from the brunet. Ryou squirmed and snarled, trying to pull himself from Shadi's grasp, but the Egyptian didn't let go. He looked to the group of people blankly, but obviously his message was portrayed because instantly Pegasus started forwards, running to the gate and shouting for a guard.

"Quick! Help! Ryou's gone dark! Ryou's gone yami!"

The Egyptian watched with a blank expression, ignoring the Briton until the smaller figure suddenly jerked forwards, bringing his arms up to his face and sinking his teeth into the blacknette's wrist. Shadi remained silent, but a dark frown flickered on his face. Ryou was still growling, even as blood began to run from the corners of his mouth, dribbling down his chin and dripping to the floor.

Blue eyes widened as contracted pupils followed the trail of the blood. Flashbacks began appearing in front of his eyes that he was powerless to hold back.

_No…it wasn't my fault…_

**_Screaming men, twitching and writhing._**

_I didn't mean to…_

They fell to the floor, screams becoming louder, tearing at the suits, tearing their own skin.

It was an accident… 

One went still, the silver suit darkening in places before crimson blood began to seep out, reaching across the floor like a shadow.

_I'm not crazy…_

Both still, both dead…laughing…laughing, and then Mokuba. More screams… 

_I'm not crazy…_

Seto awoke with a start, he tried to sit up but instantly found his movements were restricted by the cuffs around his wrists and ankles. He looked around, but could see no one, only the bleach white walls of an examination room.

He tried to recall what had happened but came up blank. He remembered Ryou taking a turn, running towards him…someone stopped him…it was Shadi…

_Why?_

And then…people shouting and…and… He frowned, he couldn't remember, he couldn't recall what had happened and why he was now strapped to a table, frowning up at the dull light on the ceiling.

A few moments later the door to the cell opened and a woman he recognised stepped in: Dr Ishtar.

"Hello Seto, how are you feeling?"

He tried to answer but found that his mouth and voice were reluctant to work so quickly. "Wh-whuh…." He frowned, trying again but succeeding only minimally "Wh-what…"

"I wouldn't worry too much." Her voice was soft but he still didn't like it "The sedative is still in your bloodstream, it will take a few minutes for it to wear off enough."

The Kaiba nodded in understanding and then realised something with a wince. When he was sure he could talk he asked, "Wh-why does…my face hurt?" It was true, there was a faint burning sensation running across his cheeks and on his forehead.

The Egyptian doctor's expression flickered for a moment "I'm afraid you had a turn, Seto. We did not realise until after we had Ryou under control. You were fortunate that someone got control of you or the damage would have been much more extensive."

He frowned lightly and tilted his head up with much effort, looking down at his fingers. Sure enough they were still bloodied, nails dark red and his fingertips stained a brown where the blood had dried. "W-who?"

"Hmm? Who controlled you? That would have been Shadi. I believe he would have tried to help you sooner, but we had difficulties getting Ryou to…release him."

"Release...him?"

"Yes. I'm afraid Ryou bit him, it was rather deep as well, but Shadi seemed unconcerned for the most part." She fell silent but he though he heard her finish with a muttered, "He definitely a weird one."

"Is…he…alright?" The brunet hated how his voice was so slow, but he was determined to keep speaking. Already the fuzz was starting to lift and the pain in his face increased.

"Shadi is fine for the most part, his wrist needed quite a bit of attention, but it will heal nicely." Her voice was absent as she marked down certain things on the ever-present clipboard.

"Now Seto, I'm going to ask you a few questions, don't worry if cant answer them all, just try your best." Why did she sound like she was talking to a stupid child? "Okay, what's the last thing you remember before you woke up here?"

"Ugh…Ryou…running towards me…" He answered, frowning "And…he was going for me…but Shadi stopped him."

"And then?" She was furiously scribbling on the clipboard.

"I don't…remember…"

"Please try, what happened after Shadi stopped Ryou?"

He was trying to remember, and it was agonisingly slow as his memories drifted in and out "Um…Pegasus…he…was calling for help…I think…"

"Yes…very good…go on…"

"…um…" He growled in frustration "Then…then…Ryou…Ryou bit him, like you said…and…then…then…" His blue eyes blinked open and his breath hitched "The blood…so much blood…I…I…"

_I didn't kill them! I'm not crazy! Please! I'm sorry! I_

"Seto…Seto!" Someone was shouting at him and slowly he was pulled from the painful memories, breathing heavy. Looking up he could see Dr Ishtar standing over him with an uncapped syringe, but seeing as it was still full she evidently hadn't needed to use it.

She stared at him for a moment before nodding "I see." She murmured to herself, jotting something on the clipboard and circling it.

After waiting for a few moments for his breathing to calm, the Egyptian doctor freed his hands and feet. "You may go now if you wish." She said gently. Nodding he tried to sit up, but instantly regretted it as his head span and his stomach lurched, expelling the food he'd eaten earlier on the white tiled floor.

By the time he was given the okay to leave it was already time for the inmates to be herded off to bed. His cell door was open, the nurse had gone to get his medication, and he could see the other inmates pass by. Most didn't seem bothered but some were putting up a fight and had to be escorted by the guards.

The Kaiba sighed, eventually getting bored of seeing Pegasus run back and forth down the corridor, obviously having the time of his life, being chased by two frustrated looked guards, and lay down on his bed, blue eyes closing. He could still taste the mint he'd being given after being sick.

He waited for a few minutes, wondering where that damn nurse was with his pills, when he heard movement inside his room, next to his bed.

"It's ab" He jerked in shock as he was cut off by warm lips pressing to his own, his azure eyes snapping open to see a curtain of black hair and a tanned face. By the time he'd recovered enough to even think of pushing the Egyptian away, Shadi was already gone and the nurse was walking in the door, apologising for taking so long.

Silently he took the pills and barely registered as the door was shut and locked. What…the hell had happened? He was almost 100 certain that the strange Egyptian had just kissed him but…even thinking that sounded insane. It hadn't been deep; barely lasting a few seconds, but that wasn't the point, there was simply no way, no reason…

But…

_It felt good…_

When he was awoken the next morning, Seto put what had happened to the back of his mind. It had probably just been a dream; he had had a stressful day after all.

Again they were taken to the showers and the brunet kept his eyes averted, going to the same shower as the day before, away from everyone else. He found himself unable to look at the Egyptian when he appeared, his voice seeming to stop working so he couldn't even utter decent thanks for saving him yesterday. So he just kept his eyes fixed to the wall or closed when he turned his face up to the stream of water.

A commotion started near the entrance, Seto able to hear the raised voices of Keith and Otogi. They were fighting about something, volume rising, causing some of the inmates to go into a panic and make a large fuss.

As he turned to see what was happening, he started as he found soft hands pushing him back against the warm tiled walls, lips pressing to his own again. As before he was frozen in shock, blue eyes wide, unable even to think straight as the Egyptian's body leant flush against his own, long fingers drifting into his wet hair, others lightly resting at the nape of his neck.

Seto was vaguely away of the volume of the argument continue rise, but every rational thought was dashed from his mind as a heated tongue swept across his lower lip, dipping into his mouth when he gasped. This couldn't be happening, not here, not him!

He meant to raise his hand to push Shadi off, but instead they ended up wrapping around the Egyptian's back, pulling his slim form tight against his own. He meant to close his teeth to get the intruder out of his mouth, but instead his own tongue began battling for dominance, sweeping over the other, pressing quick touches. And he meant to keep his eyes open to make sure they weren't seen, but instead his eyelids slowly shuttered closed, giving himself to the sensation.

Suddenly it was all over. Shadi pulled back and returned to his own shower, face turned up to the spray like nothing had happened, leaving the brunet blinking dumbly. Mere seconds later Keith was dragged from the room, kicking and screaming and everything quietened down, Otogi went back to his shower and the people who had been affected by the argument were slowly calmed.

Sharply, the brunet turned around so he was facing the wall, forehead falling forwards to rest against the tiles, a shaky hand rising to press long fingers to his lips. What the hell had happened?

He stole a quick look towards the Egyptian to find amber eyes looking back at him, the blacknette's face holding no expression. A tanned hand rose to brush black strands out of his face and blue eyes were drawn to his wrist. Painful looking stitches adorned both sides, his skin bruised. It was hard to believe that the quiet Briton was capable of inflicting such damage.

Shadi followed the brunet's eye line and quickly hid his wrist from sight, watching Seto carefully.

"It's alright." The Kaiba muttered, looking down and away with a frown "I'm not going to freak out on you again." The Egyptians head tilted inquisitively but the brunet said no more.

The rest of the day was uneventful to say the least. Seto found that his medication had been changed at breakfast, something he thought little of until he realised he couldn't stand when he tried to get up after finishing his food. After waiting for a while, though, he found it possible to stagger his way to the game room and take over a sofa on the other side of the room to where everyone else, save the Egyptian, was gathered.

There was a book in his hands, and his blue eyes were directed towards it, but he wasn't reading. He couldn't focus. His mind kept wandering back to the showers. It wasn't as though it had been his first kiss, not even his first kiss with a man, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. Why him? Why had the Egyptian chosen him?

Over the next few days, Seto spent all of his time wondering when the Egyptian would 'get' him again. He randomly found himself being pushed up against the wall whenever there was a distraction warranting enough time; everyday in the showers, it was a regular occurrence, not that the Kaiba was arguing, or when someone had a turn, or when they were all supposed to be going to their cells to go to sleep.

At the beginning he had been caught off guard every time, but as time went on he began responding almost immediately, no longer questioning why (as it appeared he would never get that answer) just when.

The insanity of what was happening was the only thing that kept him sane in that place.

It was a week, probably, he wasn't sure, that the next person took a serious turn. Once again most people were out in the garden, laughing and such, as usual. Seto couldn't understand, how could they go out there, day after day, repeating the same boring things, never changing, always the same…

Then suddenly, as these things always happened with no warning, there was a scream, someone shouting "No! Put him down! You'll hurt him!" and then a small figure came crashing through the glass of the window beside the door leading into the garden, landing on the floor with a 'thump' and not getting up.

The brunet sat up, alert, on the sofa and Shadi was instantly on his feet, looking at the disturbance with a mildly unsure look.

That had been re-enforced glass. It was supposed to be shatterproof, bullet-proof even. How had someone managed the strength to throw another person with enough force to break the glass as though it were nothing?

A dark haired figure lunged through the shattered window frame, instantly on the small figure, pulling him out of the curled position he had landed in, revealing a shock of spiky purple hair.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME! I TOLD YOU!" It was Otogi, although his voice was different, deepened in an unnatural fury, his body shaking, face white and jade eyes wide as he repeatedly slammed Yugi against the floor. The small figure wasn't making a noise and wasn't trying to escape, so Seto could only guess he was out cold, or worse.

The other patients were running indoors, Pegasus acting as before and calling for help, as though the smashing of the glass hadn't been loud enough.

Before help could arrive, though, a hand was pressed across the brunet's eyes, blocking his view of what was happening.

"Hey!" For a moment he was too disorientated to try and fight off whoever it was, but eventually he tried jerking away, only to find himself being pinned back against the couch, hand still blinding him to the room.

The Kaiba continued to try and escape, not understanding what was happening, only able to hear what was going on, everyone's frantic voices melding into one noise.

For long minutes the noise continued, although the brunet had heard the distinct high pitched screech as the metal gate was opened, obviously nurses and guards were running into help.

Otogi's voice could be heard over everyone else's for a few moments, roaring in anger before it died to a small whimper and finally went silent. Clearly he'd been sedated. The rest of the inmates had been quietened as well, only a few distressed sobs and an underlying muttering was left.

A calm voice spoke to whoever was blinding him, shockingly close "You can let him go now, it's been cleaned up." Light flashed into his eyes again and he squinted for a moment before glaring up as the Egyptian retreated, the blacknette not sparing a glance back as he went over to where the shards of glass had been cleared up. Yugi and Otogi were nowhere in sight, and the only sign that anything had ever been wrong was the broken window and the unhappy murmurs of the witnesses.

Blue eyes watched as Shadi turned to face the shattered pane, both hands rising to seemingly rest on the windowsill as he looked out. However, for a moment the Kaiba could have sworn he saw the Egyptian's arm jerk down, followed by a light crack. As the blacknette turned to resume his place by the other window, amber eyes glanced to the brunet for a split second and then darted away.

Seto never noticed the small drips of blood that escaped between the fingers of the Egyptian's clenched fist.

As much as he hated seeing this woman, as soon as his name was called this time he was on his feet instantly. He had questions and he wanted answers.

"Hello Seto, how are you feeling?" Same beginning, same boring welcome.

"Fine." Same clipped answer.

"I heard about what happened earlier today, I hope it wasn't too distressing." She looked idly at her clipboard.

"It was fine. I didn't see much of it, after all." What was that in his voice, contempt?

"Ah yes, I was told about that. You see, you must understand, that was for your own good." Dr. Ishtar's voice was gentle, but patronising.

"Really? How so?" The brunet's voice showed no emotion.

"I'm afraid Yugi suffered extensive damage when he came through window, and afterward. He was bleeding rather badly. It appears that Shadi recognised your…aversion to blood and was acting in your best interest when blocking your view of the scene." She was choosing her words carefully. A derisive snort came from the Kaiba, despite the truth of the words it didn't mean he had to like admitting his weakness.

There were a few moments of silence before Seto finally spoke.

"What happened to him?" He had to know.

"To who, Seto?"

"Shadi."

Again there was a split moment of silence "You know I am not allowed to disclose details on other patients, Seto."

"Why doesn't he talk?" This question was fired almost before the Egyptian woman had stopped talking. "Is he mute?"

She sighed "We can find no medical reason why Shadi doesn't talk, we, therefore believe he is just choosing not to. Perhaps he thinks the important things do not need to be said with words."

Blue eyes looked to the ground, flashes of kisses flickering through his head. "What's he trying to tell me?" He murmured under his breath.

"Excuse me?" Dr. Ishtar leant to the side in an attempt to distract the brunet from his thoughts and to talk to her. He looked up with a light glower.

"Nothing."

"You know I don't like you to keep things from me." The doctor said sternly, her brows drawing together when the Kaiba snorted derisively.

"What are you, my mother?"

"No, but if you'd let me I'd like to be your friend."

"Get it into you head, woman, you're my doctor, my psychiatrist, friends don't talk with you just to see if they need to up your dosage of medication."

"Now Seto"

"You get paid to do this. You. Are. Not. My. Friend. And you will never be one." With a calm voice, trained by years of doing business with the sly to the downright sleazy, the brunet hid his agitation and felt he had got his point across quite clearly. He was sick of this, every time he saw her, or people like her, they always wanted to 'be his friend', why couldn't they see that he didn't want to be 'friends', he wanted to be free. 

How did the others deal with it? Did they react the same or did they cave? Accept this woman as their 'friend'? Spill out their hearts only to have them laid out and dissected before their eyes, the black haired witch then deciding that…what? That they were too 'trusting', or too 'talkative'. Wouldn't that have been ironic? He wouldn't put it past her, though.

The brunet was allowed back to the game room after a calculating glare from the doctor and he let himself to be lead back to the room, Haga being called out after.

As usual he settled on the sofa with a book, his eyes lingering on Shadi for a moment, completely ignoring the nurses who were removing the shattered glass from the window pane and boarding it up, afraid that someone would try to hurt themselves.

Seto's eyes flickered to the Egyptian on occasion, stopping and observing him when he saw the blacknette watching the men by the window, his face blank as ever but an odd twinkle in his eye, almost a hidden smile. As though he knew something they didn't.

Warm lips pressed over his own, tongue darting into his mouth when the opening was given almost immediately. His hands drifted to the Egyptian's shoulders, feeling the silky black strands drift over his fingers, as he was tasted thoroughly, only allowed to reciprocate when the warm muscle left his mouth, the blacknette's palms braced against his chest lightly.

Seto didn't know what the date was, he'd long since lost track of the day to day times, but he knew today was a Thursday, which meant little to himself directly, but for the man pressed up against him under the spray of warm water, whose hands were slowly sliding into the brunet's hair, it meant much more.

As long fingered hands slid around the Egyptian's waist, holding him close in the few seconds that they had, he had to wonder if the blacknette harboured a fear for what was to come. Did he allow himself to be taken willingly after the shower? To be taken to a room and strapped to a table in silence, the needles lying on the small table beside him? Wasn't he scared?

The brunet was reluctant to let Shadi go when he pulled back, as though he could protect him against what was to come, if he wouldn't protect himself.

Amber eyes flickered open to look at the Kaiba, a tanned hand rising to lightly caress his cheek as he pulled away, and the brunet was almost certain he heard a soft whisper escape the Egyptian's lips as he turned and headed for the door, long black hair dripping at the ends as he walked.

_"It's alright…"_

The brunet watched with a guarded expression, as Shadi was lead in to where they were all eating breakfast, supported as usual by a nurse, who lead him over to a seat.

Seto could see the Egyptian's amber eyes were unfocussed, and remained so for a lengthy span of time.

He was so intent on the blacknette that he never noticed Pegasus crawling over to sit on the bench beside him, and Seto almost inhaled his drink in shock when the American spoke.

"You two are good for each other…" the silvernette's voice was quiet, surprisingly sober, and the cinnamon eyes focussed on the Kaiba was soft.

"What?" Blue eyes glared at Pegasus, an unpleasant feeling of being caught spreading in his chest.

"Don't worry, I wont tell anyone." The American laughed, not the excited childish laugh Seto was so used to, but a natural laugh. It made him sound almost…normal.

"How did you"

"I've seen you, in the showers, or on the sofa, whenever there's a diversion." The brunet was speechless, and just stared at the American as he sat there, not looking at the blue-eyed man as he spoke, a sad smile on his face.

"I know how lonely it gets in here, we all make do with what we can, but really, there's no hope. Most of us are going to be here for the rest of our lives, and it's sometimes…painful." It was so strange to hear Pegasus be so serious, and the cynical part of his mind was telling him that it was only because the silvernette had just taken his medication, and in a little while he would be back to his old, annoying self.

"I'm only 28, you're only 20, and it just seems cruel that we're here." A cinnamon eye looked at Seto softly, "I'm glad you've found some happiness, I just hope it lasts."

Shadi took longer to recover this time, and the brunet found himself having to help the still unsteady Egyptian into the game room. His tanned face was hidden behind a curtain of black hair, and his breathing was ragged as the Kaiba set him down on the couch, telling him quietly to rest.

The blacknette seemed to listen and curled up on the sofa in a most unusual display of human requirements. One hand was curled against his chest, the other holding it there, as though it was injured, but Seto tried not to linger on it, instead just brushing the black hair away from Shadi's face before he quite knew what he was doing.

Amber eyes were barely visible beneath lowered lids, but the hazy and unfocussed gaze of the Egyptian was concentrated on the brunet for a moment before closing completely with a worn out sigh.

"Is he really asleep?" Even at the meek voice, Seto jumped slightly, hand whipping back as though burnt as he turned to look at Ryou, whose gaze was fixed to Shadi. The Briton looked almost angelic with his white hair complimenting the pale gown they all wore, hands clasped in front of him. "He always seems to stoic, so unresponsive." It was hard to image that the quiet individual could turn into a violent maniac in the blink of an eye. "He suffers more than any of us, but he never says a word." Ryou reached out to lightly brush the back of his hand across the Egyptian's cheek, "But I guess he is human after all." The Briton looked up to the taller male with a knowing smile, his soft brown eyes that always looked so cold, so broken, filling with a warm life that almost brought a smile to the brunet's face.

It was as though knowing that Shadi really was one of them gave them hope.

When Shadi awoke, he looked around blearily for a moment, obviously disorientated, focussing on Seto for a few seconds, who looked over his book at the Egyptian. He was sat at the opposite end of the long couch that the blacknette had been asleep on, for some reason, not wanting to go too far away from him.

The brunet watched him for a time, his heart sinking silently as the tanned male stood, somewhat unsteadily for a moment, and made his way to the seat by the window, not sparing the Kaiba another glance. However, as he walked away, azure eyes scanned the Egyptian's form, falling on his hand, a faint frown flittering on his face.

As tanned fingers unfurled, Seto could see a deep gash stretching across Shadi's palm, an angry red line stretching like a grotesque tattoo across the soft skin. On his feet instantly, he hurried across to the Egyptian, grabbing his wrist before he sat down, spinning him around, ignoring the unusual expression of shock that he wore as he regarded the brunet.

Long fingers gripped Shadi's hand, using the others to uncurl the Egyptian's, which had instinctively folded over the slash. The blacknette tried to pull his hand away sharply, the brunet could hear that his breath caught slightly, either in panic or pain, as his palm was flattened, cerulean eyes looking at the wound with a shocked expression.

"How did…what…how did you do this?" It looked like an old wound that had never been seen to, and the skin was still split, exposing a very thin membrane that didn't conceal the veins and capillaries that ran below the surface, and as he flattened the Egyptian's palm further, Seto caught sight of something that looked horrible like bone.

"Shadi! You should have got to get this seen to!" He made as though to pull Shadi off to find a nurse, but the tanned male refused to move, and tore his hand away from the brunet, turning and face the window, his back to Seto.

The angry expression faded to one of worry, and Seto sighed quietly before taking a place next to the blacknette, the tendrils of worry winding their way through his stomach, seeming to suffocate him. He looked at Shadi, but the Egyptian just stared out of the window, silent as always, his expression unreadable, although his shoulders appeared to be stiffened.

The brunet recognised the severity of the situation; there was no items within the asylum that could be acquired by any of the inmates, nothing at all that could be used for any kind of self-harm. So then how was it Shadi had a fairly sizable and serious gash on his palm. It had obvious been done whilst he was there, it wasn't an old wound or a scar, and the thought that the Egyptian might do something drastic wound tendrils of both panic and worry through the brunet's stomach and mind.

"Shadi, ple" Seto's voice was stopped as one finger pressed over his lips, the Egyptian silencing whatever he had been about to say. Amber met blue and a silent conversation that seemed to stretch centuries passed in a few short seconds. It was as though the blacknette's eyes were telling him not to worry, that everything was all right.

And in that knowledge the Kaiba relaxed a little, breaking the contact between them and taking a seat back on the sofa, ignoring the pangs of hurt as Shadi took his own seat in front of the window, as though nothing had happened, as though nothing was wrong.

It was so rare that the brunet ever dreamed, the medication that coursed through his body sent him into a death-like sleep. Perhaps his body was building a resistance to it, though, as more and more frequently he found himself suffering from nightmares, waking in the depths of night to a silent room that was so eerie, shifting a little to find his pillow wet from tears.

He thought about saying something to one of the nurses, requesting a higher dosage, but he said nothing, as though the simple fact that he was dreaming, nightmares or no, was a rebellion, in its own little way. He wasn't playing by the rules by waking in the middle of the night, and any amount of tears, to him, was worth that small satisfaction.

Two nightmares came more frequently than any others. The first was more a memory than anything else: Two men writhing in their death throes, crimson blood burning in the intense heat of the metallic suits, the stench of smouldering flesh and the echoing screams sending the brunet into a fit of panic whenever he awoke and left him muffling sobs in the blanket so as not to draw suspicion.

The second made him wake with a start before an overwhelming rage came over him, although he wasn't sure why.

He was never entirely sure where Shadi went on Thursdays, although he began to formulate ideas, and it was these ideas that his mind seemed to enjoy bringing to life and tormenting him with.

Sometimes it began with the Egyptian being lead down a dark hallway, other times it started in the room itself, but the blacknette never put up any resistance. The room was always dark and dreary in his dreams, although Seto knew it should be bright white, like everything was in the asylum, brilliant, stainless white, but the colour of the room was the least of his worries.

He watched helpless as Shadi sat down silently on a specially designed chair, something looking like it should belong in a dentist surgery, allowing the doctor to rise or lower the patients, and to have them sitting up or lying down. However, this chair was fitted with cruel looking straps that were secured around the Egyptian's wrists and ankles. His expression never changed, and he seemed to barely register the nurses moving around him.

The chair moved with a mechanical noise that was too loud and unsettling until Shadi was almost lying down. There was a small metal table beside him with a number of syringes laid out. Without so much as a warning for the blacknette or a word of comfort, the doctor began administering the fluids from each vial, and still Shadi's expression barely changed, save for a brief flicker of pain each time the needle pierced his skin.

Once the procedure was over, the doctors and nurses left the room, leaving Shadi utterly alone in the dark room, and as much as he wanted to go to him, in his dream, Seto couldn't move an inch, just a powerless observer in his own nightmare.

Everything was silent for a while; the Egyptian still secured to the chair, unable even to wipe the droplets of blood that leaked from the puncture wounds and trickled down his arm.

After a moment or two, though, the brunet could hear soft whimpers escaping the blacknette, as though a pain was working its way through his body and he was trying to silence the noises. Progressively the whimpers grew louder, though, and Shadi shifted a little, straining against the bonds that were too secure to come free. Amber eyes were shut tight, although even that didn't stem the tears that slowly made tracks down his face.

It was then, even before screams of agonising pain escaped the blacknette, before his back arched in a futile attempt to move, to rid himself of the searing pain that worked through his body, it was then, when diamond tears made their treacherous way from Shadi's eyes, that Seto was filled with an all-encompassing rage; a desire to hurt, to even kill, the people that would put the Egyptian through such pain, the desire for _revenge_.

He always jerked awake in a cold sweat, breathing laboured and eyes blazing with fury, and it was only extreme self-control that stopped him punching the wall and making a noise the nurses were sure to check out.

It was that nightmare that plagued him tonight. He watched as the Egyptian was strapped to the chair, but before the doctor could lift the cruel needles he was aware that the edges of his consciousness were being invaded, and the dream slowly dissipated as he was awoken by a familiar, but at the same time strange, sensation.

Soft lips were against his own, initiating a gentle kiss that brought the brunet out of his nightmare. Blue eyes flickered open, even though he was already responding, his body paying no attention to the strange circumstances, and saw, as he'd half expected, a curtain of straight black hair flowing down beside his face, obscuring his vision of the rest of the room.

As his sleep-fogged mind finally began to regain some clarity, he finally began to wonder how the hell Shadi was in his room, sure all the doors were locked and secured from the outside, there was no way…

But as a warm tongue played against his lips, begging for entrance, his mind began to fog over again with pleasure. Somehow he knew this wasn't going to be another hurried kiss in the showers, no breaking apart like guilty teens before they were spotted. The Egyptian wouldn't have gone to so much effort to get to his room for a simple kiss and then leave.

Long fingers found their way to Shadi's hips, sliding over the white gown and resting in the small of his of back as the brunet sat up a little, lips parting for the invading tongue, playing a submissive role for a moment before he flipped them over so Shadi was lying back against his pillow. The brunet's hands began running over the Egyptian's torso, aware of tanned hands on his own back, tracing the contours of his spine gently.

A soft noise worked its way into the brunet's throat, but it was given no release, both knowing they had to be quiet, as this was a place where it was sounds of pleasure, not pain, which aroused suspicion.

The kiss finally veered the other way, the Kaiba's tongue invading Shadi's mouth, and despite the initial force it soon became a gentle kiss again, soft hands travelling over each other's bodies, not knowing or caring about the passing of time.

The simple robes were discarded at some point, left to crumple to the floor as flat palms explored the skin revealed.

Seto didn't give up the dominant position hovering over the Egyptian, even as he pulled back from the kiss, both breathing a little heavy. Both pairs of eyes opened, the colourings darkened, both men wore a faint flush on their cheekbones. The brunet's hand rose, lightly cupping the blacknette's cheek, smiling as the touch was leaned into, amber eyes closing for a moment.

"How did you get here?" Seto asked under his breath, lips barely moving, although he knew his voice would be audible to the tanned man so very close. He didn't know what answer he expected, but a part of his mind wasn't surprised as Shadi's face moved, lifting, lips meeting the Kaiba's. He knew it was an avoidance of the question, but he really couldn't bring himself to care as electric pleasure ran down his spine at the instant admittance to the Egyptian's mouth.

Long fingers traced down from the blacknette's shoulders, over his tanned chest, one stopping to tease a nipple, the other continuing down his side, fingertips skating over soft skin. The normally silent Egyptian uttered a soft, barely audible noise of pleasure against the brunet's lips, the noise muffled, and even if it hadn't, it wouldn't have been nearly enough to draw attention.

The brunet's hand stopped on Shadi's hip, lips leaving the Egyptian to look down into hazy amber eyes. A conversation of unspoken words passed between them again, finishing with a nod from the tanned male, one hand gently grasping the brunet's own, lifting it from his chest to his mouth and Seto almost let a groan escape him as two fingers were enveloped in wet heat, the Egyptian's tongue pressing against the pads of his fingers.

The brunet lowered himself to lie on his side beside the blacknette, watching his face with an idle but flushed expression. Amber eyes were shut, the colour still painted to his cheeks, making him look so much more human, and a soft shiver ran through his body as Seto's fingers ran up his side. Shadi continued to lath the fingers in his mouth, tongue sensuously drifting across the long digits, head tilting a little as Seto began combing his other hand through the long black strands that fell down over the Egyptian's shoulder.

After a few moments the Kaiba's fingers were released, and amber eyes slit open to look heatedly at the brunet. Wet fingers trailed down, resting on Shadi's stomach before blue eyes looked at the Egyptian, "Are you sure?" He breathed against his ear, lips brushing the soft skin, and the blacknette simply nodded, eyes closed, legs shifting apart like a silent welcome.

Seto leaned over; lips finding the Egyptian's in a gentle kiss as wet fingers trailed further down the tan body, brushing the base of his length, drawing a muffled gasp from Shadi's lips, hips shifting a little, although the brunet's hand didn't linger there. Fingertips skated down the inside of the blacknette's thigh a short way before trailing back up. One finger pressed to the Egyptian's tight entrance, and Shadi instantly broke the kiss, laying back into the pillow, biting his lip, silencing a soft noise that was destined to get louder.

The brunet's lips followed Shadi's, claiming them for soft kiss as his finger broke the ring of muscle and pushed into the Egyptian, subduing a noise of unsure pain. Tongue silently drifting into the blacknette's mouth, all noises were hushed as the invading digit continued its way into the tight passage, slowly and carefully, having no wish to hurt the tanned man, but not stopping until he could go no further.

At that point, Seto pulled back to look into Shadi's face; his eyes were closed and he was biting his lip against any noises that may have tried to escape. His chest rose and fell rapidly, as though he was trying to catch his breath, although after a moment he turned to look at the brunet with an expression so full of raw emotion a soft noise almost escaped him. The Egyptian regained the outwardly emotionless expression he always seemed to keep, but in his eyes, there was so much passion running so deep the brunet almost felt lost, unable to draw his gaze away, caught like a fly in a web.

Long fingers found their way into chestnut strands, and the brunet was pulled in for a breathless kiss, his body working on autopilot as his mind lost all coherency. The Egyptian stiffened and let out a soft mewl as the brunet began slowly adding another finger, breath catching at the pain that wasn't pain, but wasn't yet pleasure.

Blue eyes were open hazily, only just focussing on Shadi's face, their lips still together although the blacknette seemed too busy trying to stay quiet to really respond. The fingers in Seto's hair were curled a little in the effort, and the other tanned hand was clenched against the sheets of the bed in the effort against staying still as well as silent.

As before, the movement stopped when the digit was fully enclosed inside the tight passage, allowing the Egyptian to get used to the intrusion. It seemed to take longer this time before Shadi's breathing reached an acceptable rate and his amber eyes opened to look at Seto, still darkened with want, the flush deepening on his tanned face. The brunet could hardly believe this was the same person who could calmly accept his fate inside the institute, who could sustain a serious bite wound with barely a flinch, who could sustain the same treatment week after week and never make a fuss. That man wasn't the one panting with need beside him, wasn't the one looking at him with eyes so plain in their desire it was hard for Seto to keep steadily preparing rather than just taking him then, it couldn't be, they were too different.

But he knew it was, it was the same man that had pinned him countless times to a wall, or a sofa or bed, sharing a moment of heated passion before turning and leaving as though nothing had happened. It was he, and he would be his, finally.

The kisses were slow and languid for a few minutes, both content to stay like that for a while until the brunet's fingers crooked a little then parted, drawing a surprised gasp from the Egyptian, his breath catching, back arching slightly. The movements continued, stretching a little at a time, beginning to move in and out of his body, and Seto smiled very gently when a hand flew to Shadi's mouth, the tanned male biting the back to silence a loud moan that almost escaped, and the brunet knew he had found _that_ place.

He wanted to see the blacknette writhing with pleasure, he wanted him to scream his name as he came, but he knew that would be impossible, they couldn't risk drawing any attention, and so for both their sakes, although more of a relief for the Egyptian, the Kaiba resisted the urge to touch that place again.

A third finger was added after a moment, although the Egyptian barely seemed to feel it, but both knew the time was almost near, and their eyes met, both a little unfocussed and heady with passion.

After a few more moments the brunet finally shifted from his place lying beside the blacknette, and moved to settle between his legs, fingers still moving and spreading inside the tan male, although their eyes never broke contact. Shadi's lips were parted as he struggled to keep his breath calm and quiet, although every now and then he would bite his lip to silence a noise that wanted to escape.

Seto's fingers were slowly removed from the Egyptian's body, and taking this as a sign, one long, tanned leg wrapped around his waist, giving him go-ahead if he had been having any doubts. He leant forwards, lips bare millimetre's from Shadi's, and he watched as he tensed a little as tip of something much bigger than a finger pressed against his entrance.

The moment passed though, and he soon looked up into the blue eyes that hover over his own, nodding almost imperceptibly, and the brunet leaned down, closing the gap between their lips as he pressed into the tight heat, the kiss muffling their noises that were released before they even realised they were making them.

The tanned male shivered in a mixture of pleasure and pain, his features twisted a little into a wince, which remained until the Kaiba was fully sheathed, and a little while after. They parted from the kiss once the danger of making an overly loud noise had passed, and Seto's head fell to the Egyptian's shoulder as he tried to calm the harsh pants that escaped him. The pleasure was overwhelming, to be completely buried inside the velvety heat of someone's body; it was indescribable.

He was aware, after a moment, of long fingers playing through his hair, and he looked up to see the Egyptian peering at him, his face flushed, although he wore another expression just below the surface, a sort of amused impatience, but Seto got the idea, and rolled his hips, drawing bitten back moans from both of them.

The brunet quickly fell to a slow pace, both of them shuddering with the effort it took to stay calm, although both soon began to lose it. The Egyptian's other leg hooked around Seto's waist, drawing him in deeper, and he barely had time to drag him down into a hard kiss as white hot bliss flashed though his body. A near scream of pleasure was swallowed by the Kaiba's mouth and he no longer held any qualms about avoiding that spot, aiming for the blacknette's prostate with each thrust, reducing the normally stoic and emotionless male to a wanton, mewling animal that begged silently for more with every passing second.

Thrusts becoming wild and erratic, the brunet knew that he wasn't going to last much longer, especially when the kiss was broken and Shadi pressed back into the bed, his head thrown back, long hair sticking to his face and chest. Both his arms were looped around the brunet's shoulders, hands flat against his back, although every now and then they would curl suddenly, as though longing to grip something under the sudden onslaught of pleasure.

One hand slid down the centre of Shadi's chest, although he didn't seem to notice it until long fingers wrapped around the base of his shaft, and amber eyes flew open, unseeing but startled as he bit back a sharp moan. Blue eyes watched him intently as the brunet's hand stroked the hard flesh, determined to bring the Egyptian to release before he himself tipped over the edge into paradise.

The Egyptian suddenly arched up and clung to the brunet, his body tensing, making the friction unbearable finally, and both released almost simultaneously, their moans of long-awaited climax muffled in each other's shoulders.

After the sounds of pleasure finally fell silent, both stayed motionless for the longest time, Shadi still holding the brunet tight, although it turned into more of a hug than a frantic cling of passion, and Seto stayed hovering over the Egyptian for as long as his weakening arms could support him. After a moment, though, he was forced to collapse on top of the blacknette, still buried deep in the warmth of his body.

He knew there would be a mess, he knew the nurses would know _something_ had happened, although the brunet decided he could wait for morning to make his excuses, he was too content to worry over such things now.

He was barely aware of being moved, being rolled to the side, although he did make a soft noise when Shadi pulled away just a little, although he pressed close again when the brunet's length was no longer buried inside the velvet tightness. Both were breathing in harsh pants that echoed in the small room, and the brunet was barely able to open his eyes to look at the Egyptian blearily. Shadi was looking at him softly, tanned fingers stroking through chestnut hair. His expression looked sad, full of longing, but before Seto could make any noise of question, the Egyptian was pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

But this kiss felt different somehow; it seemed mournful, bittersweet, like summer rolling into a dark winter, as though Shadi was saying a last goodbye.

Seto woke with a gasp, jerking out of the realms of sleep as though he had been shocked. He was vaguely aware that a loud noise was being made somewhere, but he couldn't discern from where, or who. He blinked around, nothing seemed amiss, nothing at all.

Which was wrong.

The sheets should have been stained, or crumpled at least, and Shadi should have been there. He was a light sleeper, he should have woken if the Egyptian moved, and yet he wasn't there, and the brunet had no memory of him ever leaving. One thing wasn't amiss, though, his white gown was still on the floor beside the bed, and he was very much naked.

As he got up and pulled on the simple clothing he frowned, although it was weak and unsure. It couldn't have been just a dream, it just couldn't…but then…

He was brought around by a sharp gasp from outside his room, and his eyes were drawn to the door. He had to do a double take to realise that the door to his room was slightly ajar, and yet he knew that had to be impossible. The alarm had not yet gone off for 8am…

Slowly, distrustfully, he made his way to his door, and with light fingers he slowly pulled it wider, as though expecting a trick. There was none, and the door slid open on its hinges as easily as any other door might.

With unsure footsteps he took a step outside his room, and suddenly became aware that something was very wrong. Nurses and doctors gathered outside a room, and a couple were stifling sobs, or hiding shocked expressions behind their hands. It took Seto a moment to realise whose room it was: Shadi's room.

He set off at a run, barging through the crowd, and was standing in the doorway before anyone realised who he was or where he had come from, or the fact that he should be securely locked in his room.

"No…" The simple word was out of his mouth before his mind or heart could really gather the scene in the small white room.

Only it wasn't all white, its purity was stained with the brilliance of red that stood out so starkly against the bedcovers and the oozed into the edges of the white gown of the figure curled up on the bed. Tanned skin was an unhealthy parchment colour, and black hair spread across the bed, dark wings behind a prone figure, never given the chance to take flight.

Crystal tears flowed from blue eyes, but the brunet didn't register the wetness on his cheeks as he continued to take in every detail.

Shadi's eyes were closed, and his face was so serene, he could have easily been asleep, but the blood was real, so real, and so much of it. His hands were loose against his chest, crossing over a little, and the shard of clear, radiant glass was still in his grip, the tip bloodstained after inflicting the last wounds for the Egyptian, those that would never heal.

Everything was too still, like a photograph. There were no gentle movements of sleep, no flickering of eyelids to signal a dream, no slow and steady rising and falling of his chest to let them know he was alive. There was no life in that room.

Seto's name was being called but he couldn't hear it, and he was being pulled away but he couldn't feel it, his eyes turned away but he was blind to all but a single image forever burned into his mind, of bloodstained sheets and a home too sterile to house hope. And with this painful reality he willingly slipped into the blissful darkness of despair.


End file.
